The Drafting Process: LOV diet Position Paper
Introduction
Draft: “Americans today face numerous issue in achieving optimal nutrition. In 2014, as reported by the Huffington Post, Americans ate more meat per capita (276 lbs) than every country aside from Luxemburg, a small (less than 1000 square miles) European country between Belgium and Germany known for its extravagant meat-market-culture.”
Final: “The practice and implementation of vegetarian-geared diets are on the rise in America. Among the many reasons people chose to become vegetarians are the pursuit of better health (especially as people get older) and rising awareness and concern for the treatment of animals in America.”
In completely changing the introductory sentences of this essay between my draft and final production, I wanted to shake-up the tone from the urgent and factual of the draft towards the more casual and informative of the final. By doing this, my aim is to increase the clarity of my introduction while more closely portraying the positive perspective intended in this essay. Specifically my aim traveled away from an attack on meat as animal flesh toward a focus on the viability of an alternative, the LOV diet.
Further, in introducing my final draft, I included: “The lacto-ovo-vegetarian (‘lacto’ or lactose representing the dairy food group – ‘ovo’ or ovum representing eggs) diet is the most popular option among vegetarians” in order to provide quick, nice background information as advised by my peers during review. This clarification of the introduction overall has served to make the subject matter more concise in purpose while improving the overall focus of the essay from the beginning on.
Body
Regarding the nutritional aspect of my research, not much information has been changed or even rearranged because I have presented the research in a similar fashion to my Rogerian argument. Although the information is different, writing this section of my Persuasive Essay was quite familiar, and I was able to sight information I had previously become comfortable and relatively. In essence, I feel that this series of essay has really helped with my research and writing skills, for I’ve never truly seen my own capability to convey research in an effective way until this year.
By the time I had finished my latest draft, I was still undecided on the value of really delving into egg and dairy nutritional research. The platform by which I would have made a brief discourse on nutritionally rich dairy products would have looked something like this:
- Introduce: X% of people in America are lactose intolerant, thus it is important to discuss supplements to
- Background: People only recently evolved to eat dairy products, only species to consume milk throughout life
- Why it matters: Certain groups especially susceptible to being lactose intolerant
- Research: Other options, supplements, deviating from the diet
- Discourse: transition to sustainability or mindfulness
Although, by not speaking for dairy, I have missed out on the chance to cover the available options for lactose intolerant individuals interested in the LOV diet, I feel that I have skillfully avoided overdoing the nutritional aspect of this essay. From this point, however, my essay was not effectively planned, since I had spent most of my time ensuring the quality of my nutritional research while waiting for feedback on where my paper should really go. From the peer review I knew that focusing on the benefits of the LOV diet over arguing the downfalls of other diets would best serve my argument that diet is not only a good way to as far as nutrition, sustainability, and mindfulness, but that it’s already taken the first steps toward social adaptation.
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